Deconstruction: The act of breaking something down into its separate parts in order to understand its meaning, especially when this is different from how it was previously understood.
It’s been said the average deconstruction takes twelve years.
Twelve years, from the moment we begin to question our programming, our conditioning, our beliefs.
Twelve years, from the moment we realise the life we are living is not the truest version of ourselves.
Twelve years, from the moment the ground gives way beneath us and all we have been clinging to – our survival mechanisms, our pretences, our addictions, our perfectionism, our relationships – come crashing down and we find ourselves surrounded by only the rubble of the lives we can no longer hide behind.
Here, we experience loss. Pain. Grief. Confusion. Fear. Uncertainty.
But here is where the journey back to ourselves begins.
The reconstruction is the hardest thing we will ever do. There is so much sifting through wreckage to be done. Trying to decide what beliefs we will hold onto. What relationships. What still serves us; what has held us back. It is long, and slow, but we cannot avoid the work.
It may seem like you aren’t moving forward. That you aren’t where you want to be on this journey of becoming. That you aren’t where you think you should be. But dear heart, keep rebuilding. We are so used to instant gratification. We are so programmed for immediate results.
But maybe this is the point.
“Transformation isn’t sweet and bright. It’s a dark and murky, painful pushing. An unravelling of the untruths you’ve carried in your body. A practice in facing your own created demons. A complete uprooting before becoming.” ~ Victoria Erickson
This feels hard, I know. I know you have been here for years restoring all that you have lost. Healing upon healing upon healing. I know the work is hard, and unyielding. I know you long to arrive. I promise you will arrive. But for now, you are exactly where you need to be.
Keep going, dear heart. The arrival will be glorious.
But in the meantime, oh, the journey.
Oh, the journey.