This Is 40

Choosing me. No longer apologising. Standing in my power. Speaking my truth. Owning my worth. Taking up space. Compromising my values for no-one. Respecting myself before others. Honouring my boundaries. Not allowing anyone in my life who chooses not to. No longer giving away precious time and energy to those who have not earned these things. Keeping my circle small, and close. Walking in grace and mercy. Living in authenticity. Accepting my flawed, messy self. Refusing to turn back. Allowing those who want to leave, to do so. Having nothing to prove. Learning, always. Growing. Making mistakes. Rebelling against fear. Leaning into courage. No longer being who I think I should be. Unafraid of who I really am. Still healing. No more hiding. Taking risks. Burning expectations to the ground. Dancing in their ashes. Forgiving myself. Calling the word NO a complete sentence. Falling asleep drowning. Waking with poetry in my lungs. Finding joy. Laughing more. Breathing in grief. Breathing out hope. Becoming stronger, yet softer.

Learning to love the darkest places within this winter solstice woman; this complex, conflicted, complicated contradiction existing inside the cusp, ruled by the moon and pulled by the tides, forever drawn to the ocean, ever-changing, never still, living somewhere between victory and loss, loving the only way I know how; with reckless abandon.

This is 40. This is me

3 thoughts on “This Is 40

  1. Kathy – although my time is “60”, Every one of your words, statements and feelings shared here are spot on to my life at present of my feelings, dealings, uphill climbs and struggles to let the past be, look forward and allow myself to be happy and just be me! I truly love each and every one of your posts and wait each day for the next one to come onto my computer for my viewing that ALWAYS allows me to continue healing. Makes me sad that you have been dealing with this for so many years and only being 40. Just not right, but our souls are not the type to give in or give up. We are to strong within which allows us to continue healing, accepting and being ok with our decisions. Thanks again Kathy. Keep sharing your words and feelings as they are a true inspiration to so many.
    Theresa Fiorello

    1. Theresa, thank you so much for these beautiful words, they are such an encouragement to my heart and it’s a blessing to have you with me on the journey <3

  2. The 40’s have been a ride for me. They definitely remind me that I’m not a young guy anymore…

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