Second Chances

butterfly.jpg

And it never really changes.
 
The words look different. The way they form a line this time that seems straight and stable; so well-crafted, so precise. There seems to be no faults, no cracks, no frayed edges, and you feel yourself drawn to the letters that fall seamlessly from his mouth and land without effort in the aperture of your heart.
 
But it never really changes.
 
You said there would be no more chances. That the last time was enough. You look down at the scars that had just started to blend into your skin, barely noticeable now. You try and remember what every one of those scars cost you. Except, this time the words look different, and you can’t.
 
He forces his way closer, and somewhere deep inside, you still believe in second chances. You weaken. After all, the words look different. This time will be different.
 
It never changes.
 
It doesn’t take long before the words begin to reshape; after all, he’s an expert in manipulation. They become familiar threads of anger, blame, guilt and shame that he weaves around you; a web of abuse he seeks to trap you inside so he can satiate his need for power and control.
 
You’ve been here before.
 
Nothing changes.
 
Except for you.
 
You changed.
 
You realise you don’t need this anymore. You have become wiser, braver, stronger in the places he once broke you. You have become sure, resilient, steady. You pulled yourself from the ground where he said you belonged and rose – a fighter, a warrior, a survivor.
 
You forgot. Just for a moment, you forgot. But now you take one last look over your shoulder and turn your face toward the sun and remember who you are.
 
You are fire, and you blaze with the fury of all you are worth.
 
And you are worth so much more than a love that was only ever abuse in disguise.
 
In honour of Domestic Violence Awareness Month ❤️
 
Butterfly Illustration courtesy https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals

4 thoughts on “Second Chances

  1. I was so moved by your profound and eloquent words. I have read this post over and over and will print it out to have it at all times. I am currently in a relationship where he wants another chance although I have given him too many chances. It always turns out the same, because he is the same. Why would the outcome be different this time?? He said “You will never find anyone like me again” and I had the courage to say to him “I hope not”.
    You touch upon the feelings of so many, but most are afraid to express their true feelings as you do. Thank you for your inspiration!!

    1. Carol, thank you so much for sharing your words and heart with me. I no longer believe some people are capable of change, and I think this is the hardest thing ever to finally realise, but the moment we know this as truth is the moment we find our freedom. Stay strong beautiful lady, you’re worth it ❤️

  2. I too have given a second chance but not to an abusive relationship but to a manipulative one and it hasn’t changed I had to walk away. Its nearly killed me in doing so but I couldn’t keep justifying my heart anymore. Thanks for the words they’re meaningful.

    1. So glad to hear that you were able to find the strength and courage to walk away from something that sadly, no, will most likely never change. It rarely does. And you deserve so much better. So much love Tanya 💗

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