Today my Facebook page hit 5000 followers. This time last year I had about 500. And maybe to some, this isn’t significant. But to me, I’m humbled and thankful beyond words. It isn’t about the numbers. I don’t align my self-worth and success with numbers, and would continue to write even if nobody followed my work. It’s about each and every one of you allowing me into your lives. Me – just some girl from the middle of nowhere who started to write because I needed to heal. The words I write are my journey, and I’m so incredibly grateful for each and every one of you who has come along this journey with me, and who has allowed me to become a part of your journey too.
I don’t always find writing easy. To be honest, I don’t always find life easy. My world unraveled a number of years ago when I stared rock bottom in the eye and had to find a way to rebuild through the haze of Complex-PTSD, as well as ME/CFS. Some days I am still so overwhelmed with life, I cannot even get out of bed and face the day. Some days I want to write but there is such a heavy fog upon my mind the words get trapped and there is no way for them to find their way out. I get exhausted, frustrated, despondent. Some weeks there isn’t enough hours for me to bleed all I need to on the page. Other weeks, I can’t even pick up a pen.
Because of this, I don’t always respond to every comment. It can take me a while to get back to messages and emails. I often need to disengage from social media and won’t write or post for a time.
But I’ve learned to be kind to myself and know that this is okay. There are no rules to the way we heal. There is no right or wrong. We can’t heal, and live, under the expectations of others. To do so will only destroy ourselves. We walk our own path, one foot in front of the other, and we make it through each day the best way we can.
Through each one of you, I have come to know I am not alone in this. That I am loved and supported and cared for, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard. Thank you. You’ll never know how much this means to me.
Many of you have asked whether I have a book out. Now seems like a good time to mention that my first book, The Unraveled Heart, is currently being published. I don’t have a release date at this stage, but hope to have it out by Nov/Dec, so I’ll keep you posted as I know more 🙂
Thank you again, my beautiful tribe. Thank you for being here. Every one of you is significant to me. Every one of you is a reminder of why I continue to write, even when it’s hard. It matters. You matter.
From my heart to yours,