Between who we pretend to be and who we think we should be there is a space where the truest version of ourselves exists.
We don’t often dwell in that space, but choose to exist on either side of it.
There is one side where we pretend to be someone we are not, where we project a false image of ourselves to others, believing that is what they want to see.
On the other side is where we spend our days striving to be better than, greater than, more than, because we believe the person in the space isn’t enough.
Both sides exist because we are ashamed of the space between. The space where our mistakes live; our regrets, our sins, all the choices we have made that have hurt others or ourselves. The space where there is nowhere to hide our failures and all the ways we fall short, our flaws, our scars, our broken, our ugly, our messy. In this space we cannot fool ourselves with the false image we project to others. We cannot pretend to be anything more than what we are right now. We can only be real, raw, honest and authentic with ourselves.
Except, most of the time we would rather not be those things. We would rather cover the space with a bridge of lies that will carry us between who we want others to think we are and who we think we should be.
We don’t mean to lie, to deceive others, to pretend to be something we aren’t. But we’re ashamed of the space between, ashamed of our own inadequacy. We turn away from our truest selves because we are afraid to be seen – really seen. We are afraid of being exposed for what we are. We are afraid of rejection when acceptance is what our heart craves. But mostly we are afraid to discover that we were right all along, and our truest selves are unworthy of being loved.
The bravest thing we can do is choose to exist in the space between. To no longer pretend to be someone we are not. To no longer live as someone we think we should be. But to surrender to our authentic selves and to know we are worthy of love even in our darkest places, even in our unseen. To know we are enough as we are. To live inside all we fear that we may overcome. To embrace our broken, flawed, messy hearts and be reconciled back to our truest selves.
Because only when we choose to live from the space between can we ever truly live at all.
Image courtesy zarias.com