It Wasn’t Your Fault


It wasn’t your fault.

It wasn’t your fault you weren’t protected from getting hurt when you were younger.

It wasn’t your fault you weren’t told how much you mattered, how much you were worth.

It wasn’t your fault you had no voice, that you were powerless and not taught to say no.

It wasn’t your fault you didn’t know how to draw the line around your heart, mind and body to protect yourself from being hurt by others.

It wasn’t your fault the people who should have shown you where to draw that line instead made you feel you weren’t important enough to keep safe.

You grew up with no lines and no boundaries and you didn’t know the difference between love and abuse, and because of that, you allowed others to hurt you, when all you really wanted was for others to love you.

And that isn’t your fault.

Let yourself be angry. Let yourself be angry that you were never told how much you were worth. That you never protected yourself because nobody ever protected you. That you allowed people to violate the lines that should have been there but never were because you weren’t told how to put those lines in place.

Because you weren’t told how important you were, and how much it mattered.

How much you mattered.

Let the anger rise within you. Allow yourself to cry tears of rage and grief for all you have lost. For all others have taken from you – not what you have given away – but what others have taken from you, that you can no longer get back.

Use that anger to fight for yourself in the way you should have been fought for. Use it to reclaim all that has been taken, to reclaim your heart. Let the anger become a fire that rages in your soul and burns away the tarnish that others have left upon you. Let the flames consume you, let them purify you, let them cleanse you and refine you until all that is left is the beauty of who you really are.

Your worth is great. You were created by the same hands that created the galaxies and the stars and the oceans and the storms and the wind that rages across the four corners of the earth. You were breathed into existence, not by accident, but with purpose, with promise. The entire universe listens just to hear the beating of your heart and the whisper of your breath. You were meant to be here. You were supposed to be here.

You were wanted here.

And you are worthy of the kind of love that nurtures your soul and heals your heart. A love that sees your value and worth and believes in you. A love that is strong and kind, loyal and true. A love that brushes the hair from your eyes and kisses your forehead and gives you its jacket when you are cold and holds your hand when you are scared and draws you into its arms and doesn’t let go until it stops hurting. You are worthy of someone whose feet are anchored; who loves you when you radiate with the light of the moon and stars, and loves you even harder when you are cast in the shadow of your own cold sorrow.

You are worthy of a love that will never, ever hurt you.

Draw your lines, dear woman, for within these lines lies the truth of all that you are worth.

And the moment you come to know this truth, is the moment nobody can ever take that away from you again.

~ © Kathy Parker ~

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11 thoughts on “It Wasn’t Your Fault

  1. This spoke to my wounded soul. Tears were brought to my eyes, chills sent down my spine and to every nerve ending fiber in my body. Praises for articulating so beautifully what I’ve not ever been able to do.

  2. Oh. My. God!!!!! Words to affirm our right to not only exist, but to rise and embrace our value and worth. Your words are weaving a safe, loving, affirming place for we adult and teen survivors to gather. Bless you. You are spreading Divine Love to us all. Can you feel the healing?

      1. Kathy, please know, believe, that you are healing so many at a deep, spiritual level. We are all connected. You are on the right Path. Your pain, suffering, losses, wounds, have combined to form Amazing You. That you have found your Gift, your voice, your words, affirms that you are following the guidance from your Higher Self. May YOU find your own healing and peace, as well, Dear Lady!.

  3. Dear Kathy,
    I sit here at a garage waiting for my car. A huge lump in my throat. I could cry. I could scream. Your words speak directly to my heart and soul. You wrote exactly what I’ve felt in all my 60 years of life. I never ever felt worthy. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Hugs and love Nancy

  4. I am overwhelmed with emotion, as I sit here reading the exact feelings I’ve felt forever, but were unable to put into words. This is me.I am 60 years old, and this is me.Oh my God, this is me, and I’m not alone. Thank you Kathy, I can’t even think right now, but Thank you.

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